It amazes me what we subject each other to in relationships but perhaps the most foremost to me is this idea of a quiet delusion that we all seem to suffer at least once in our lifetimes. When things first start out, we are so fascinated by the outer layers of a human being that we fabricated or create these idealistic notions of the inner layers of an individual. We delude ourselves into truly believing that our delusions are real, that those characteristics are a summation of who that person really is. As time goes on we start to see their inner lights, their true selves and then we do the unthinkable—we accuse them of changing.


The truth is, they never changed (okay maybe just a little). We just fabricated a fantasized view of them that is just a shallow breath from perfection. Then we try to mold them, bend them into what we want them to be. And when they fail—we break their hearts and spirits for failing the impossible. How dare we?

Solution: Get to know a person before jumping into a pool in the dead of winter naked… if you end up loving who they are then great!

if not?: Find someone who fits or comes pretty damn close to your ideals.

Here is a haiku followed by a poem about delusion(ok not really but read it anyway):

I know many of you have most likely read Lowry's "The Giver". A few days ago while reflecting the theme of the novel, I also reflected upon the idea that a complete utopia = a complete dystopia. Many fundamental moral questions ran across my mind. And these questions stemmed from the basic human need for love and to be in a romantic relationship. Then my mind aimlessly wondered to relationships and how they fall apart. I considered that one person is often defective. Then I wondered if an individual could be turned in for a newer model. The answer is yes. It is being done everyday, and not only in relationships but at the workplace. How many times does an employee become slower than usual, not as precise and then the next week there is some younger more efficient person in their place? On the relationship front, how many men have turned their wives in for younger, more beautiful women? They treat women like their electronics. Or worse, like their cars, they are prized until something newer, faster, sleeker and sexier comes along. And who can blame them? Its partially our fault... the newer versions I mean. We allow these men to mistreat other women so that they can run behind us when in truth, what has been done to the goose can and will be done to the gander... Just a matter of time. Typical example Tom Brady, he left a pregnant Moynahan, for Giselle. How long before Giselle becomes obsolete? Only time will tell. Just a thought...

A Haiku:
Relationship are
Our Modern Dystopia
Old Replaces New